New Year, Same Self




Happy New Year, friends! I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve shared a post on BB, but life just kind of happens, ya know? Between the holiday craziness and our trip to the Bahamas, the past month just kind of flew by and here we are nearing the end of January.

If I’m being honest, this post has kind of been haunting me. It was at the beginning of the New Year hype, when everyone was sharing 2019 goals, their ‘word of the year,’ and accomplishments from 2018. Meanwhile, I just sat on the other side of the screen feeling like I needed to do the same, but also a little lost and insecure in the process.

What was my word of the year? What are my New Year’s goals? What do I hope to achieve in 2019? What did I really accomplish last year? And in the middle of that self-evaluation, I quickly started to play the tricky comparison game. Why isn’t my blog where I want it to be yet? Why are the bloggers who started so long after me, already so far ahead of me? Blog aside, I started to doubt myself and where I was at this point in my life. I beat myself up about why I didn’t accomplish THIS goal or THAT intention from last year.

And in the middle of a week night meltdown, Justin asked me one question: “What’s going to make you happy?” My answer: I AM HAPPY.

Which leads me to this: why can’t we ( I ) be content and happy with where we are at the beginning of each year? Why not wake up on January 1st and keep hustling the same way we did the year before? Don’t get me wrong, goals and accomplishments are important, but finding peace, and happiness, and contentment with who you are NOW and where you are NOW is so important. We shouldn’t feel like we need to be on the same page of someone else’s story; we all have our own, so let’s learn to embrace it.

Don’t get me wrong- I was totally that person purging my closet and getting wrapped up in the “New Year, New You” hype. But what’s so wrong about a New Year, Same You- if you’re happy? Nothing.

I ended 2018 feeling a bit lost and unsure about a whole lot of things- my career, trying to become a mom, a new business, and ultimately the unknown of it all- while at the same time trusting that God will continue to lead me down the path that is meant for me. I may not like that things don’t always go as planned or the way I want them to, but I have faith that His timing is far more perfect than mine.

God’s plans always exceed my own, so I’m learning to give my doubt, insecurities, and fears all to Him. I’m finding peace in the journey, rather than getting wrapped up in the struggle of what I cannot control. So if you had/have the same anxious feelings and pressures going into the New Year, just know that you're not alone. Take a minute to appreciate where you are and have faith in where you’re going.